(Girl)friends: your worst enemies or your soulmates?

A deep analysis of female friendships, including the parts we don’t really want to admit.

Talking on the phone with one of my best friends Depi, we came to loads of realisations. January has taught us many things. We learnt that jealousy , revenge, boys and insecurities are like the main ingredients in these issues, and never communication. We also realised that girls always try to bring down each other, rooted from personal insecurities, twisting the truth to benefit themselves, because we all know the satisfaction behind being the victim, and blaming the other(s). From being your no1 best friend, a girl can become your biggest fear. In the span of months, or even days, the person you trusted most becomes the person you avoid at school, slowly distancing yourself even though you miss the friendship.

The Silent Competition

Even in the closest friendships, there’s an unspoken competition. Who’s prettier? Who’s more popular? Who has the better relationship, the better clothes, the better life? We don’t admit it, but deep down, comparisons never stop. It’s not always direct jealousy—sometimes, it’s just insecurity creeping in. You don’t want to outshine your best friend, but you don’t want to be in her shadow either. And the worst part? She probably feels the exact same way.

The Betrayal That Feels Personal

There’s a reason why fallouts between female friends hurt more than any breakup with a guy. It’s because the trust, the emotional bond, and the vulnerability go so much deeper. Girls tell each other everything—their fears, their secrets, their dreams. So when things go wrong, it’s not just about the argument itself. It’s about the fact that someone who knew you so well—someone who understood you—still chose to hurt you. The pain isn’t just in the action; it’s in the betrayal of the unspoken girl code.

The Need to Be Right

Girls don’t just want to win an argument; they want to be justified. We convince ourselves that we were the ones who were wronged, that she was the one who changed, that I was only acting in self-defense. But deep down, if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all been on both sides. We’ve all played the victim when it benefited us, exaggerated a situation to get sympathy, or twisted the truth just enough to make ourselves look better. It’s not always intentional, but it happens.

Can We Actually Fix It?

So the big question is—how do we stop this cycle? How do we stop female friendships from turning into battlefield zones?

It starts with honesty. Real, uncomfortable, ego-crushing honesty. We have to admit when we’re jealous, when we’re hurt, when we feel insecure. We need to communicate before things explode, not after. And most importantly, we need to stop seeing each other as competition and start seeing each other as allies.

Because at the end of the day, we all want the same thing—a friend who’s going to stick around.